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Dream Accessories for the Classic Car Enthusiast

Ah, that long list of missing features on the 1978 Tesla Model S Brougham LTD just gets longer and longer...

- Dayton Wire Wheels with Knockoffs
- White Wall Tires
- Side Skirts
- Faux Side Pipes
- Curb Feelers
- Windshield Visor
- Bug Bra
- Pinstriping
- Faux Phantom Top
- Diamond in the Back
- TV Antenna
- 3.5 Cupholders per Passenger
- 3 Cigarette Lighters, 2 Cigar Lighters
- Cigarette Box
- Cigar Humidor
- Snuff Box
- Hidden Derringer/Ammunition Box
- Curtains with Drawstring
- Chandelier

This looks like a job for... West Coast Customs!

1957 Tesla Model S SuperSport

- Cragar Series 612P S/S Super Sport 2-Piece Aluminum - Polished Wheels
- Racing Slicks
- Faux Blower Scoop
- Two-tone paint
- Racing Stripes & Entry Number
- Fold-flat bench seating
- Roll Cage
- Wheelie Bar
- Parachute

?

BACK TO THE FUTURE

I wrote elsewhere that there a lot of 'old guys' that somehow want the Tesla Model S to conform to their truly antiquated notions of a 'classic vehicle' from circa 1957 to 1978.

Don't they realize that if this car was sent back in time, with all its capabilities intact, it would be considered miraculous?

"How much does it cost to fill that up?"

"Nothing."

The mid-season replacement for the Model S might have plenty of the prerequisite coat hooks, map pockets, cubbies, bins, armrests, reading lights, and cupholders that cloud the interiors of everyone else's luxury car. Though I rather hope not. There are plenty other vehicles out there that include such goodies, for those who simply can't live without them.

Over and over again, multiple professional journalists that cover the automotive field have registered the same observation, if not actually a complaint, about the Tesla Model S. "It looks like it was designed by Silicon Valley programmers..." I just laugh. They don't mention that the most popular vehicle designs for the past 25 years, whether for Japanese, European, or American car companies -- were designed on CAD systems in California.

Those poor, old guys. I can't help it that there was no 1932, 1957, or 1978 Tesla Motors vehicle around for them to 'get used to' or 'grow fond of' over the years. There probably should have been, but you know -- Nikola Tesla was railroaded sixty ways to Sunday.

This isn't a vehicle to purchase if you are one to fondly admire the Rolls-Royce Silver Phantom or a Cadillac Sedam de Ville. It wasn't designed by people who wanted to do their own riff on a Mercedes S Class or Bentley Turbo R. It wasn't crafted by the guys who crank out Buicks, Mercuries, Cadillacs, and Lincolns. I think that's a good thing.

I understand that a few specially customized model S's in Joisy have snuff boxes included in the back, but they're not for what you think.

Is there any chance I could get faux side pipes and curb feelers?

Added for emphasis:

- Faux Side Pipes
- Curb Feelers

I will eventually add a drawing of the car, and upload it for all to view! In fact, I might do a couple of them... Fifties and Seventies style. Any other suggestions?

Don't forget the Kragers

Still Grinning ;-)

Hmmm... Do you mean CRAGAR WHEELS...?

http://www.cragarwheel.com/images/products/BCA9C0A82A3E727400C6FC3357201C3B.jpg

If so, that would indeed be an appropriate accessory for the 1957 Tesla Model S SuperSport/NHRA version...

TESLA ANNOUNCES EQUIVALENCE SERIES UPGRADES*

Finally all those wonderful accessory options all our Customers have demanded for the Tesla Model S are available for everyone. Our team has worked studiously to address each and every one of your needs to the fullest. We hope this comes to your eternal satisfaction. Thank you for your precious time, eternal patience, and continued support. -- [ECHO MIKE]


FREE: Toyota Avalon Commonplace Accessories Package. - Everything your body desires, for the low, low price of [SIERRA TANGO FOXTROT UNIFORM].

PAID: Lexus LS Luxury Accessories Package. - Everything your body desires, only at twice the price, with Lexus emblems.

SELECT: Mercedes-Benz S-Class Luxury Accessories Package. - Everything your body desires, only at thrice the price, with Mercedes emblems.

SPORT: Ferrari F-40 Minimal Accessories Package. - What? Who needs air conditioning? Open a window, buddy. Radio? HA! Listen to that ENGINE. What? You want that too? Sucker! I got two words for ya: CARBON FIBRE.

CUSTOM: Rolls-Royce Phantom Stodgy Accessories Package. - Every conceivable bell, whistle, and useless doohickey under the sun. Including a wine cellar in the frunk, and fitted luggage in the rear. Oh, and a hidden umbrella you will never find. All this to provide a seamless, exclusive, luxurious cruising range of a whopping 20 miles at 8 MPGe. (Roadside assistance provided via helicarrier.)

BEATER: Chevrolet Nova Zero Accessories Package. - You don't git nuthin' beyond bare metal, faulty analog guages, hand-crank windows, & vinyl seats. No. Seriously. Even the seat-belts, airbags, and command screen are optional. Good luck out there, ya cheap [BRAVO]. (We will throw in the dents & scratches for free!)

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* Not Really. This is a joke. This is only a joke. If this were an actual, official announcement from Tesla Motors, it would likely appear HERE instead. I'm just sayin'...


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