The Ten Disadvantages of Owning A Tesla

Things are not all roses and sunlight as far as Tesla goes. For one thing, Tesla is literally on the verge of destroying the entire automobile industry as we know it. Gas prices could plummet and oil companies could be severely damaged. We could lose our important reasons for invading Mideast. Speed and performance could be taken for granted. Worse yet, we might all have to learn how to live with clean air.

But for individual owners, thing are even worse. There are at least ten down-sides that Tesla fails to warn consumers about:

1. Some people miss the smell of gasoline on their hands and clothing.

2. Tesla owners are forced to find new ways to spend their gas money.

3. Trips seem disappointingly short, because the car is simply too much fun to drive.

4. Tesla owners are forced to give up those peaceful moments meditating at the gas pump on cold winter nights while filling their tanks.

5. Tesla owners can't show off what they have under the hood (unless they have something really interesting in the frunk).

6. Tesla owners leave a trail of disappointment wherever they go, because when they drive by, people no longer take pride in their own cars.

7. It is impossible to commit suicide by leaving a Tesla running in a closed garage.

8. When you punch the accelerator on a Tesla, you can hurt your neck.

9. When driving a Tesla, people you've never met smile and wave, forcing you to question whether you are becoming senile, wondering how you know them.

10. Constantly having to answer the question, "What's it like to own a Tesla?"

If Tesla were more forthright, the company would warn potential owners that their lives are going to be permanently changed if they buy this car, as they will be distracted throughout the day, thinking about their car, constantly conniving reasons to drive places when they should be working. They will never again dream of a Ferrari or a Porsche. They will never hear the gratifying roar of their own exhaust pipes.

@Lycantrope, "Tesla drivers are all at risk of obesity because they never walk anywhere any more..."

that is so untrue. Tesla drivers have to park at the farthest space in a parking lot to avoid being dinged by other cars, they have to walk so far everywhere they park!

(some) Tesla drivers have to give up valeting their cars because they just can't let someone else park their cars

or Tesla drivers have to bribe valets to park their own cars!

and when forced to drive a non-Tesla car, Tesla drivers are always leaving them in gear and on when they got out of the car because they have forgotten how to drive those old fashioned cars, they have to chase down the ICE cars to put it back in park.

Tesla drivers can't get into other cars because they did not present the door handles when you approach them.

Tesla drivers need to store extra pairs of sunglasses because they keep flying off the top of their heads into the rear cargo area.

gogfrey, could you send this to the Governor?

A Model S also combats obesity by owners avoiding any need to go to the gas station's mini-mart and pig out on junk food.

TT. No wonder Christy is against Tesla. What part of pig...out applies to him?

Christie. sorry.

GREAT!! Made my day.


... unless the supercharger is at a service station rest stop or mall .....

@Roamer "You miss spending quality time at Jiffy Lube and the upsell for fluids and filters."

I don't miss the lube jobs and the rim jobs "specials" for the ICE boxes. Those good ICE servicing folks always find something wrong with perfectly functional vehicles.

@Mathes98 - "lube jobs and the rim jobs", where is it you get this kind of service? :-)

Sometimes at home too! But they costs a lot more than the ones from the stealerships...

This was awesome, thanks for the chuckle!

A major disadvantage is when your household is not fully EV. Had to drive the wife's mustang yesterday. I managed not to burn out the clutch, which she appreciated. ;-)

GenIII can't come soon enough!

# 11 You feel like a supermodel walking into WalMart. EVERYBODY stares and many drool.

MacDaddyLady here.
12. You always have to look decent for impromptu information sessions. It's worse than running into the PTA moms in your not quite good enough yoga pants while just picking up a gallon of milk. You have to look presentation ready AND have your brain in gear to talk Tesla. It's fun but not with allergies at 7 a.m. So.. you also need to upgrade the wardrobe and drink lots of caffeine at all times.

@MacDaddyLady, LOL, thanks for yet another grin this evening. :-)

One more thing- #13) you will not be on the Jay Leno gas pump camera (I know, Jay is off the air, but it works with the list!)

The guys at work are asking me every day if the car has arrived, even my landscape guy asked about it today. My electrician sent me an email to see if he could see it yet. Two more days (theatrical sigh with palm to forehead).

LOL +1 to all.
Great community.

Still Grinning ;-)

#14 Continuous distraction, wondering, "Where can I drive next?" (Both short- and long-haul options.)

15) You have to take numerous MILFs out of your neighborhood for a ride because they keep asking for it. (MILF = Mom I Love taking For a ride, obviously).

@chrisdl - It has a different connotation in the States. I'm sure you're well aware of that...

It should be MILFR. Never mind, it still carries the same meaning from the other side of the pond.

Had to get dark tint to hide all the laughing, car dancing and other suspicious activities.

@Brian H #14 Continuous distraction, wondering, "Where can I drive next?" (Both short- and long-haul options.)

My daughter called the other morning saying that she had an upset stomach, was feeling dizzy and was out of Pepto Bismol. I told her I'd bring someover to her.
She lives in Albany, NY, 162 miles away.

@JT - Great excuse to see your daughter. Did you bring boxes of Ramen instant noodle and fresh bagels to feed her too?

Bagels, yes. As for Ramen, she's not a student, she works for SUNY, so she can afford to buy real soup, or at least charge real soup to my credit card. Thanks, daddy. :-)

Perhaps I grew up in a different era. Whatever happened to paying her own way?

Daddy's little girl needs another pair of new shoes. No problems, charge them up!

Funny you mentioned that, Matt. Once I bought the Tesla I told her she has to buy her own shoes. I can't afford them anymore. Win, win.

@CaptainZap- Not trying to pat myself on the back too much here, but I'm the one at my credit union who went to Tesla and offered a partnership (of sorts). Several of us here (and sorry, but I can't mention my employer specifically) recognized the potential that both Tesla as a company has and the loan portfolio we could build with Tesla buyers. Our portfolio enjoys an average credit score of over 800, average monthly income of $20k, and around 80% equity in the collateral, even though we require less.
Unfortunately for me, working for a credit union is a labor of love and not a labor for money. It will be a while before I can afford a Tesla of my own, but don't think I'm not saving up for it.

This is O/T but had to mention based on what inverts said:

"Tesla owners can not add NOS to their cars, so are only fast, but not furious :-)"

When setting up the Tesla on my insurance policy, the insurance agent said, "Ahhh... OK, a Tesla. Is that a high-performance car?"

Not knowing the right answer (ie not wanting to answer in a way that would make the rate higher) I said, "Um, sorry what do you mean?"

He said, "Like, does it run NOS?"

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