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The Ten Disadvantages of Owning A Tesla

Things are not all roses and sunlight as far as Tesla goes. For one thing, Tesla is literally on the verge of destroying the entire automobile industry as we know it. Gas prices could plummet and oil companies could be severely damaged. We could lose our important reasons for invading Mideast. Speed and performance could be taken for granted. Worse yet, we might all have to learn how to live with clean air.

But for individual owners, thing are even worse. There are at least ten down-sides that Tesla fails to warn consumers about:

1. Some people miss the smell of gasoline on their hands and clothing.

2. Tesla owners are forced to find new ways to spend their gas money.

3. Trips seem disappointingly short, because the car is simply too much fun to drive.

4. Tesla owners are forced to give up those peaceful moments meditating at the gas pump on cold winter nights while filling their tanks.

5. Tesla owners can't show off what they have under the hood (unless they have something really interesting in the frunk).

6. Tesla owners leave a trail of disappointment wherever they go, because when they drive by, people no longer take pride in their own cars.

7. It is impossible to commit suicide by leaving a Tesla running in a closed garage.

8. When you punch the accelerator on a Tesla, you can hurt your neck.

9. When driving a Tesla, people you've never met smile and wave, forcing you to question whether you are becoming senile, wondering how you know them.

10. Constantly having to answer the question, "What's it like to own a Tesla?"

If Tesla were more forthright, the company would warn potential owners that their lives are going to be permanently changed if they buy this car, as they will be distracted throughout the day, thinking about their car, constantly conniving reasons to drive places when they should be working. They will never again dream of a Ferrari or a Porsche. They will never hear the gratifying roar of their own exhaust pipes.

This is too funny!

Nice

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Excellent points BTW.

The Ferrari point is so true. I used to really admire them. now I think, meh, inefficient artwork.

Its a guy thing.

I went to the ER this weekend at our local hospital.

The internist on-duty collecting my medical history asked me what my problem was.

I said, that I thought it appropriate to come to the ER after recalling cautionary advice from a recent Viagra commercial.
I explained that the commercial recommended that one should seek
Doctor’s advice if an erection exceeds four hours.

The internist asked what I had recently been doing. I answered
that I had just completed a drive of several hours around the island of Oahu.

The young doctor stopped writing and leaned forward and asked “you wouldn’t by chance happen to own a Tesla Model S, would you?"

I said, “Yes, how did you know?" He replied, "we’ve had a considerable number of occurrences of this problem since the arrival of the first Model S on the island about a year ago."

See. Another disadvantage of owning a Tesla.

Tesla drivers are all at risk of obesity because they never walk anywhere any more...

@akikiki, clever. Grin-worthy! :-)

+2 to the OP as well. On #5 the lack of anything in the frunk is sufficient in and of itself.

Oh, wait, I'm senile. ;-)

After seeing the title, I thought the list would be comprised of cupholders and coat hangers. I can't wait for mine!

@DJung, what, you're telling me there are no cup holders??!! :0

One guy in a P85+ had the most beautiful aftermarket cupholders I've ever seen... I think their names were Jessica and Cindy?

NoMoDinos:
Were they B or C cup holders? That would be an improvement to Tesla's standard A cup fare at any rate.

AWESOME!!!

NoMo,
Now that was funny :)

Too funny. Let me write few more:
Spending too much time on forums.
Making friends who you have never met.
Personifying a car and treating it as your family may cause relationship issues and you may need counseling or psychiatric help.
It may cloud your financial prudence and you may want to buy more for your spouse and kids.
You will be smiling all the time which may deprive you of other emotions and may not be appropriate at all occasions.

+1 OP
+1 akikiki
+1 Nomo
funny funny funny

#7 is the best!

Letterman should put this on the air!!

I'm one of those people that you see behind the wheel of a Chrysler Town and Country frantically pointing out every Model S I see to my kids so that they can see the wonderful car that Daddy helps finance. So, my apologies if I am making you question your own psychological well-being. It's not you. Really, it's not. :)

Tesla owners cannot show off their car knowledge by talking about a gazillion parts (DOHC, shape of cylinder heads, gear ratios, idle motor …).

Tesla owners can not add NOS to their cars, so are only fast, but not furious :-)

@MaxEntropy
Thank you for working on financing Tesla vehicles.
As one of earliest buyers that financed a part of the purchase, I can say that it was really hard to find financing because not many companies were willing to step up and put the car in their database and they had no history for valuation. It turned into a challenge and a quest to educate the financial organizations. Some were receptive, some were not.

It was a few brave, inquisitive credit unions and banks that made it happen. They were rewarded handsomely with good loyal customers going forward. Hopefully you will be too.

Nice post :)

This is hilarious!

Too many opportunities to have make-up smeared on the headliner.

You can add NOS to the cabin. Its good for a laugh and for dental work

For early VIN's, NO parking sensors!
;-)

TeslaTap wrote a book that is eminently worthy of your $. My wife gave it to me for my birthday. http://teslatap.com/books/

In the middle he lists 10 types of people who may not want to buy a Tesla.

@CraigW - Thanks for the plug! Always fun to poke non-believers a bit!

- whiplash by tesla
- massive ghost cities in dubai and the emirates.

You miss spending quality time at Jiffy Lube and the upsell for fluids and filters.


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